Edition #15
Magazine heyday. The screen time debate. Our ongoing thin obsession. US border control insanity. Beauty lusts. Gummies. Rejection. 40-something face lifts. Guinness. Handbag evolution.
Hi, it’s me, that person who promised you weekly emails but turned out to apparently only mean ‘weekly’ emails. I’m sorry. Please accept the following middling excuses for being so erratic on the posts:
1) We’re still selling our house, which means the first quarter of my weekend is already absorbed by much fluffing of cushions and yelling at my kids to not touch the windows or sit on the sofa until after the open. I’ve needed one day of the week with no jobs and less yelling.
2) Work is… work. How are we already—and also only—in March. It feels unfathomable.
3) We got a puppy! Which is unbelievably dumb timing given excuse #1, but I’ve been trying to get my hands on a Berner for years and when this one became available I just needed to trust in the universe’s timing. She’s the perfect replacement to my two oldest human puppies who have now moved out of home, in that she’s both a receptacle for all my love and attention and also looks set to eat me out of house and home and requires much cleaning up after.
4) The world has gone mad and to be informed enough to write this email means immersing myself more into what’s going on out there. By avoiding it, I haven’t been flaking, I’ve been practicing what self-care guru Pooja Lakshmin calls ‘self-efficacy’, saying “The next time you think about how the world is on fire and everything is falling apart (both are true, yes), instead of sinking into cynicism, say to yourself, “yes, that’s true AND, what can I do this weekend to make my life feel a little more manageable, or joyful, or that makes a difference in the way me or my loved one’s feel?”
Anyway, I’m here now and that’s what counts. (Also once I got started I couldn’t stop so you might need to open this email in your browser to get to the end.)
There’s a lot of heyday-of-magazines nostalgia around at the moment.
I only just got around to listening to Blow Up, the podcast about Liz Tilberis’ years at US Harpers Bazaar in the glorious 90s, packed with insider tales of iconic shoots like the Amber Valetta fallen angel story by Peter Lindbergh below, as well as US$200k shoots that would get killed and reshot if deemed not good enough. It’s a fun listen (if a little depressing for those of us who have lived through the years of needing to whip up your own packed breakfasts for the crew on location shoots).
Also, former Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter’s book came out. I haven’t read it yet because my “friend” Laura stole it from my deliveries at work before I got to it but she’s going to give it back any minute (aren’t you, Laura?) and I can’t wait to dig in. If you are also waiting for an errant co-worker to hand you back your book, these choice excerpts from a review by former Vanity Fair writer may suffice in the meantime. I die.
“For twenty-five years, I was contracted to produce three articles a year, long ones, typically ten thousand words. For this, my peak salary was $498,141. That’s not a misprint—$498,141, or more than $166,000 per story. Then, as now, $166,000 was a good advance for an entire book. Yes, I realized it was obscene. I took it with a grin.
“Then there was the Hollywood money. Every third or fourth article I wrote ended up optioned for the movies. Most were in the $15,000 to $25,000 range for a renewable eighteen-month option. A handful crossed into six figures.
“The staff’s perks were posher still. Breakfast—any breakfast—could be expensed. Dinner parties at one’s home could be catered on the company’s dime. Town cars famously stood ready to whisk you anywhere. Editors received interest-free loans to buy new homes; Condé Nast even covered moving costs. Cash advances were a signature away. There was an “eyebrow lady” who swanned in to tweeze everyone’s brows…..
“Keep in mind, this was never even a full-time job. Vanity Fair stories took maybe six months of my year; the rest I spent on a book. I worked at home, rarely attending anything like a meeting. Every few weeks, my longtime editor, Doug Stumpf, took me to a pricey lunch.”
Also in books I want to read, Ita O’Brian was the the intimacy coordinator on the TV adaption of Sally Rooney’s Normal People and hers is coming out soon.
From the publisher:
“In Intimacy, she uses her expertise to explain how the techniques of embodiment and connection that she uses with actors "can offer us all tools for living a more connected, empowered and fulfilling life, both emotional and physical, and both with partners and in our relationships with ourselves"
The main thing I remember about Normal People, aside from Connor’s chain, was how incredibly intimate and delicate the sex scenes were and how I’d never quite seen sex on TV like it, so I feel like this will be a fascinating read from someone who does a really quite bizarre job for living.
Two really great reads, two different takes on screen time:
cause of all that is wrong in our ever lonelier world or overblown moral panic?
Depending on which story convinces you, you might be interested in The Light Phone, a minimal-distractions device that has just the bare essentials (phone, maps, music, notes, calendar), designed to be used as little as possible, but in a sexier package than other ‘dumb phones’. A new version with a camera is on pre-order for US$599 for delivery in June (only able to be used on Optus and Vodafone) if you like the idea of the second half of your year being less hyper-connected.
Whether it’s the record lows of size diversity on this season’s runways,
Gigi Hadid cast as the lead in a lip-synced Hairspray parody — portraying a character whose weight is integral to the storyline — party planners asking guests to flag if they’ll need a GLP-1-friendly meal when RSVPing, or over five million people in just eight months downloading a photo-scanning calorie-counting app created by two teenagers, the world’s obsession with thinness is worse than ever.
Connected, because I’m sure less-than-ravenous Ozempic users are playing a role here too: the Financial Times reports that restaurants in London have started implementing deposits and a minimum spend in order to avoid ‘reservation squatting’, as well as influencers who order just enough food for the table to generate content to say they were there.
US border control is apparently checking visitors phones for anti-Trump posting on their personal social platforms. From Newsweek:
On Wednesday, it was reported a French scientist was denied entry to Houston after U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) officers found messages criticizing President Donald Trump's cuts to science funding. Photos on another visa holder's phone allegedly showing support for Hezbollah saw her denied reentry into the U.S.
Immigration attorneys have also reported increased scrutiny of visa holders' messages and social media accounts at official ports of entry, including airports.
"I've told my clients to be very careful about their use of electronic devices and bringing electronic devices like phones and laptops through the border, to make sure they haven't unintentionally saved photos to their phone that might be controversial, even though they don't think they are," Elissa Taub, a partner at immigration law firm Siskind Susser in Tennessee, told Newsweek.
"And to be very careful about their actions online in WhatsApp, Telegram chats, things like that. Because if they are detained at the border or held up, CBP may ask to see their devices and they don't really have a way to keep that from happening."
As a pretty distraction from the news above, I am obsessed with this new blush stick shade ‘Date Cake’ from Rhode Beauty, the perfect supernatural flush.
I’ll pick it up on my next trip to the US, if I’m not detained at border control. And also the only mani I want right now is the short, silvery glitter from Miu Miu. (In other news, I’ve taught Sailor to place a paw on my hand when I say ‘mani’; she is ready and available for any influencing work that may come her way.)
Like so many people I know, I’m pretty much Cali sober these days .
I’m not not drinking, so to speak, in that I still like the occasional cocktail or glass of wine with dinner, but my hangovers in mid age have become so vile that I’d never think of a night of drinking for actual fun. Gummies exist! But apparently dentists are noting rising rates of cavities and tooth decay in adults because of our penchant for chewing on one every time we need to take a vitamin, get some sleep, adjust our body clock and, yes, have a chill, giggly time.
“People over 50 don’t usually get cavities,” says New York cosmetic dentist Marc Lowenberg, of LLK Dental. “But we’ve started to see an increase because of this gummy craze.”
Australia has hit the tenth spot in the Gallup World Happiness Report, up from #12 in 2023.
This feels…unlike what everyone in real life seems to be saying, but maybe I’m just around lots of miserable people? See below.
Between dating apps, online job boards and a plethora of options in all areas of life, Business Insider reports that many Gen Zs experience more rejection in a day than most Boomers ever experienced in a lifetime.
What a time to be alive. As an aside, I’d never heard of this theory, but me and what my family refer to as my ‘perfect moment syndrome’ feel very seen:
Barry Schwartz, a psychologist who famously observed the relationship between consumer choice and satisfaction in his 2004 book, "The Paradox of Choice," distinguishes two types of people: the "maximizers," who want the absolute best option, and the much-happier "satisficers," who go with the "good enough" option. Today's perceived infinite-choice standard seems to have given rise to legions of maximizers among Gen Z. Per Schwartz's central argument that overabundance of choice tends to lead to more disappointment, this does not seem to bode well for their general well-being.
Face lift accounts are the 2025 guilty pleasure of everyone’s feeds (I like this one), but apparently the obsession is not just for Instagram.
WSJ reports that 40 is the new 60 when it comes to going under the knife. It’s crazy how good (and undetectable) some of the results are these days. If the prices weren’t so eye watering, I don’t think I’d be able to resist…
One good thing happening in America:
Harvard is making tuition free for anyone whose parents earn US$200k or less. If the family’s income is less than US$100k, they’ll also throw in housing, food, health services and other student services.
Are you still drinking rosé? You need to replace it with a Guinness.
According to tech journalist Rex Woodbury.
“Diageo says that the number of female Guinness drinkers is up 50% year-over-year, and The Economist says that Guinness’s taste aligns with modern palates because of its “smoky tang.”
As more consumers shift away from alcohol, Guinness 0.0%—the beer maker’s non-alcoholic brand—more than doubled sales in Europe last year, and now makes up ~3% of Guinness’s global volumes.”
Trend forecaster Matt Klein reported that at SXSW
“I met a mom who is secretly “training” their kid’s TikTok algorithm, quickly skipping and reporting “the bad” and staying on “the good,” ultimately influencing what her child sees later. She’s reporting successful results.” Genius.
I love it when smart people look at fashion through an academic lens.
Here is an excellent read about the history of the handbag as it relates to human evolution.
“Fossil evidence shows that most early hominids had vegetable-majority diets with a few protein-rich exceptions, handy and hearty, like nuts, seeds, shellfish, rodents, insects, and lizards. Our ancestors were nomadic; the earliest proof of permanently settled communities appears roughly twelve thousand years ago, which is recent. Human babies became unusually dependent on their parents as a step toward our current biological reality. What would prompt our transforming minds to fashion a new object from a found material? To alter the verdant consensus of our surroundings? Did we need a spear, a blade—for what? The pipe dream of killing an elephant?
No. What we needed was much more urgent. We required a flexible container, allowing us to roam, to hold on to what we encountered, every precious morsel from our explorations, and to carry our beloved, screaming eggplants alongside us. We needed to move around with our babies and keep our hands free.
See you next week… or “next week”. We’ll see xxx